I often say that it is perfectly okay to take the time to feel what you feel, but don’t pack up and live there too long.
The world is a scary place right now. We are worried about leaving the house, getting too close to other people, and bringing things from the outside into out safe space. Everything is uncertain, and there is no real end in sight.
Now tack on the fact that people are dealing with the loss of friends and family. Others are losing their jobs, unable to see their children, or working on the frontlines every day with this virus. There isn’t a single person in the country right now who is not SOMEHOW affected by this pandemic.
At first I was very positive about the whole thing. “I’m going to keep to my routine, workout, eat healthy, start yoga! This can’t last too long!” That worked for a while. As the weeks went on it became a bit monotonous and lax. The longer we experience this the easier it is to start feeling like there is no point. And as the weeks go by, my life is being impacted more and more.
I am really going through it right now, and experiencing a lot of loss. Unfortunately I am the type of person who can really let what’s been going on take me down. Knowing that about myself helps me to battle my poor coping mechanisms, and redirect to something better. Below I have what I believe the proper steps are in coping with loss, anxiety, stress, difficult times, etc. I hope they can provide some help to anyone else who needs them!
Feel what you need to feel – I firmly believe you need to let your emotions take the ride they need. Feel everything. Spend a day or two coping how you need to cope, even if that means laying in bed never getting dressed.
Accept What You Cannot Control – This is important. For many of us, the reason we take so long to heal is because we cannot accept that cards we have been dealt. It is often very difficult to moved past something that you cannot control. The quicker we can come to terms with the fact that we have no control in the situation, the easier it is to move on. This is not easy. Trust me. But that radical acceptance is crucial in healing.
Talk to Someone – To me this seems like a no brainer, but that isn’t the case for everyone. Talking to someone you trust is therapeutic. It allows you the chance to say what you need, releasing your feelings out into the world. Holding on to everything you feel often backfires. Sometimes just saying how you feel is freeing, and a step in the healing process.
Pick Yourself Up – After you have allowed yourself some time to feel what you feel, you have got to move on. It sounds harsh and unrealistic, I know. But in order to not get stuck in your negative slump, you have to do it. Sometimes this looks like getting up early, doing everything you need to, and feeling positively. Some days this is just doing ONE thing you planned to do. It’s going to vary day by day, but you’re going to have to start.
Take Your Mind Off it – Last, it’s time to find something else to focus on. This is going to be a process. At first it will only work for a bit. Or maybe not at all. But keep doing new things, or the things you love to keep your mind from focusing on the negative. Workout, bake something delicious, read a book, start a new show…something you feel will help you during the healing process. You want to start to dwell on the negativity less and less, and the only way to do this is to find something to distract you.
I know it doesn’t seem like much, especially when you are right in the middle of something awful. The reality we all know is that healing takes time. Take it day by day. Be kind to yourself during your healing process. But make sure you are taking care of yourself, and start to follow the necessary steps.
Stay safe everyone ❤
Until next time,