Biggest Surprises I’ve Learned as an Adult

Have you ever thought back to some of the ridiculous thoughts you had as a kid, about what you thought your adult life would look like? I remember thinking I was going to drive a convertible and be a lawyer making so much money I didn’t know what to do with it.

I know, good one right?

It’s funny how much you just don’t understand as a kid, or even as a young adult.

I thought it would be fun to share some of the things that I found to be shocking once I was out on my own. Things you just didn’t put any thought into when you thought you knew everything!

  1. Spices don’t come with the house– Man did I have an endless supply of everyday spices in my mom’s cabinet. It never even dawned on me that you have to buy them all. That you accumulate them over time, and recipes, BUT also need to purchase the standard ones pretty much immediately. Oh and also, they are about $4 a spice. HAVE FUN.
  2. Fruits and vegetables go bad WAYYY too quickly– Did you have a busy week with no time to cook a fresh meal with a fresh veggie? That sucks. They are bad now, and you have wasted your money. I mean I don’t necessarily MIND when a zucchini gets lost in the madness. But let’s say I splurge and get the asparagus… OOooo I’m mad now if that goes bad!
  3. Laundry isn’t difficult like I thought. It just NEVER ENDS– I never did laundry growing up. I was one of the lucky spoiled ones. But whenever I was asked, I just couldn’t pull it together to help. It seemed difficult. Well, difficulty isn’t the issue. The issue stems from the fact that it’s three steps, and needs to be done ALL THE TIME. And even after it’s technically done, you’re not. You have to fold, hang/ put it where it belongs. It’s a never ending task!
  4. The same goes for dishes! Except that I cannot leave the sink messy for too long. CAN’T DO IT– My mother used to BATTLE me to get me to do the dishes when I was growing up. I always told her, “When I move out, I’ll wait as long as I want to do them. I don’t mind them sitting in the sink for days!!” Well that was a lie. I need them out of the sink or I’m not going to bed.
  5. I cannot explain, nor comprehend the joy I feel when furnishing a room in my house– It’s become a pastime. I love to see a room come together the way I imagined it. It’s what makes your house a home. Not much more I can say!
  6. Cooking dinner after work is actually super annoying. Not cute and housewife-y– I definitely thought that I would be one of those people who came home from work, made dinner even if it was just for myself, and cleaned up right after. I thought I would spend time coming up with new recipes to try, never repeating a recipe too much. Turns out, I’m an eat a whole box of kraft mac and cheese at least once a week kind of adult.
  7. How much your parents actually did for you, regardless of how you treated them– This is an important one. Once I truly realized what my parents sacrificed, and did for my all these years, I went home and thanked them. As a kid you don’t understand. You think you deserve everything, and shouldn’t have to do anything to support anyone else. The fact that your parents are people beyond parents isn’t comprehendible until the tables turn. My dad would always give up the tastiest thing on his plate if I expressed that I liked it, AFTER eating all mine. This sticks out to me because even now I can’t imagine doing something so simple for anyone. But he did every time, and he genuinely just wanted me to be happy.
  8. One day you wake up and things DO randomly start to hurt– At least for me, this one is painfully true. I have always been an active person, but as I’ve gotten older its become more difficult. I have bad knees that honestly appeared overnight. And that’s a constant pain. Let’s not forget about the random pains that you get from sleeping too hard, or moving the wrong way. Yeah…moving the wrong way…
  9. Just living is expensive! – Forget having “nice” things, or extra things. The things you need to simply exist in the world are more expensive than I really had an understanding of. Mortgage/ rent, groceries, utility bills, car payment, gas, cell phone service, student loans, cleaning supplies, furniture, etc. I know I don’t need to tell you! But those first numbers you estimate to convince yourself you’re ready to live on your own, are way. off. base.
  10. ALL adults are figuring it out as they go– You don’t reach a certain age and suddenly everything makes sense, and you have all the answers. Though I really wish that was true! You just realize that you don’t have it together, you won’t ever REALLY have it together, you’ll always be figuring it out. And this is the same for everyone. Some are just better at hiding it than others 😉

I wanted to keep it light this week with all the constant talk about Covid-19! I also think I might be into making lists right now. Next week I’ll get back to a normal schedule.

Anyway,I hope this silly post broke up your day a bit! Let me know some things you found to be shocking once you were on your own. I would love to hear!

Stay safe out there!

Until next time,

What I’ve Learned During Quarntine

So I am officially done with week 2 of working from home/ self quarantine, with no end in sight!

In my last post I talked about my struggles. And though they are still very much a reality, there is a lot of lightheartedness I can still talk about. I think it’s important to focus on the positives, rather than negative. So from here on out, that is the plan!

During these last two weeks, I’ve noticed quite a few things I think are noteworthy. So I figured I would create a list!. I’m going to keep everything silly and light. Let me know in the comments if you’ve noticed the same things, or have anything you would add!

  1. Sports NEVER really stop– Every sports platform is playing old games, all time best games, or offering free services to watch OLD GAMES. But the main thing I’ve learned is, that these old games are just as entertaining for my boyfriend as if they were live! Mind blowing. He posts up watching classic Yankee games, talking about them like they were current, and telling me to pay attention to the next great play that’s about to happen. It’s cute. But I don’t get it.
  2. Yoga is HARD– I decided to start yoga during this time. I have a few reasons, and it just made sense. By no means did I think it would be EASY. But I didn’t realize just how difficult. I’m impressed with yogis, and determined to get it right!
  3. I’m STILL lazy– This is a disappointment for sure. I really thought being home 24/7 would encourage me to do more. I always say I’m lazy because I spend all day out at work looking forward to getting home, so I want to use that free time to be lazy. NOPE. I’m still lazy. Turns out, I need to try harder and push myself to do more.
  4. I would be fine wearing the same exact leggings and hoodie for the rest of my life– Let me start by saying, I haven’t done this. HOWEVER, I’ve come quite close. It’s become very clear to me that I have no real need for any clothes other than hoodies and leggings. Work is the ONLY reason I own jeans.
  5. You can still have a great workout at home– Part of this comes from the fact that my gym has been providing us with workouts each day. But it’s only proven that if you put the work in, and don’t cheat yourself you can absolutely have a killer workout. And I’ve been working out every day which is more than I would going into the gym.
  6. Virtual happy hours are totally normal– I’m sure you’ve seen at this point that these have become the norm. We had for my whole department on Friday, and my boyfriends family and I are all virtually “getting together” next Friday. Obviously it’s not the same, it’s a really creative way for us to feel social and I’m ALL FOR IT.
  7. Tik Tok was made for people like me– SO I downloaded a Tik Tok. Partially because I figured there HAD to be funny videos of what people are doing with their quarantine time, and partially because I love the Jenna Marbles videos reacting to Tik Toks. TURNS OUT I’m the prime audience. I totally feel watching these videos is a waste of time in the normal world. But in quarantine corona virus world, WONDERFUL use of time. I can’t stop laughing… which I think is a good thing right now.
  8. Even with all this time to watch a new show, I still choose How I Met Your Mother – There are so many shows I have been “planning” to watch. SO MANY. And yet, I put on the same show every day. It’s like it’s some kind of comfort for me. Whatever, not gonna fight it. I like what I like.
  9. I still fall asleep on the couch at 7pm– Since my gym is closed, and I’m working from home, I am obviously able to sleep longer in the mornings. About 2.5 hours to be exact. On top of it, I’m not leaving the house. AND YET, I still fall asleep on the couch between the hours of 6-7pm. WHY.

There you have it, my two weeks of quarantine observations! I am so sure I will have more to share as this continues on. But if I’m honest, I hope not. I would really like to resume normal life soon. 😦

Interested to see what others have experienced during quarantine, so feel free to share your quarantine observations. Would love to hear!

Please be safe out there!

Until next time,

It’s Been a Struggle

Transparently this is not my originally planned post for this week, but I want to keep things honest and real. I’m only human.

Many of us are really feeling the affects of quarantine, as well as stress and fear that Covid-19 brings. We are living in uncertain times, and it can become difficult to shut it all off. I am no different.

I went into this entire situation very calmly. Felt no need to panic shop, was still very much planning to attend my work trips and my big trip to Spain. I had hopes of carrying on as usual, and ultimately felt no concern about catching this virus.

However, in the last week things have really taken a turn. Everything is shut down, my normal routine is completely gone, and it’s the ONLY thing we are talking about. The reality is, what else could we talk about? Things we take for granted, and casually discuss day to day are basically gone for the foreseeable future.

On top of that, I have been working from home for about a week and half now. It really isn’t all bad. I’ve started to cultivate a new routine that I like. BUT what makes me feel anxiety, is the fact that it’s not just working from home. It’s quarantine working from home, which makes it feel somewhat like a jail.

I have gone from no concern, to a high level anxiety in a matter of days. And what’s really elevated that, is the news that a colleague of mine, who I work very close with is presumed positive for Covid-19. I haven’t been around her for 9 days, and don’t have any symptoms myself, but this news rattled me. I couldn’t calm down when I first found out. All rationality when out the window and I’ve been struggling since.

Maybe it’s the first person I know to have it so it hits close to home. Maybe it’s being quarantined in my house for days. Who knows. But my anxiety and stress is constantly on the move at this point in my life. The thought that this is what could be the norm for a while seems unacceptable to me. I don’t want to live in a constant state of anxiety, and I want normal life to resume.

But the truth, when I’m calm I know that this will pass. That this is a temporary situation, and for the greater good of our country. I know that this situation is controlling my emotions, and that I just need to make sure I am taking care of myself. It just happens to be more of a struggle than normal!

If you are feeling the same was I am, I feel for you and I hope you find ways to deal with it. But it’s also okay that we are not okay at the moment. We have never experienced something like this before. It’s a new experience that comes with all new emotions.

We WILL get through this. One day at a time!

Until next time,

What I Learned Working from Home This Week

“Working from home is the dream!”

“I want to work from home so I don’t have to leave the house, and interact with people!”

-Things I say regularly while at work

During all this Covid-19 chaos, my company made the decision to have everyone work from home for the next few weeks. When the announcement was first made, I was thrilled! I got the message at 10pm at night while I was getting ready for bed. I immediately decided I could stay up longer, and wake up late the next day. As far as I was concerned, everything I always ask for was happening!

I quickly changed my mind on everything. In fact it was only about two days in that I decided I had been wrong all along.

So I say the second day, because the first day was almost fun. I had to go to the office to get all my equipment, I met a colleague at a coffee shop to work. It just didn’t feel like a real work day. But the second day I spent entirely at home. Rolled out of bed and right on to my computer. Never left the house, and had no real contact with anyone. I started to feel stir crazy by the end of the day.

See the thing about going to the office is this. I have a morning routine before I get to the office, and I have an after work routine for when I get home. Working from home just kind of melds them all into one long action. There is nothing to break up and differentiate things in my day.

However by the end of the week things started to feel a bit better. I think my comfortability will change day by day, but I made some adjustments by the end of the week that I hadn’t originally thought to do. Here are a few things I learned!

Get Dressed– I thought staying in my pjs and working all day wold be great. Turns out, it get’s old fast. Make sure to get up and get dressed. It sets the tone that your day has begun, and you aren’t just lounging around all day.

Take a Break– It’s easy to lose track of time, and work non stop when your computer is set up in your own house. Most people find time in the day for a lunch or coffee break. Some people “ahem” find the time for breaks a little more regularly. So why shouldn’t you do the same thing while working from home? Make sure to take at least a definitive lunch break away from the computer and work.

Keep your routine– Obviously this won’t be perfect. No matter how much you try, the day is going to be different than usual. But try your best to continue the normal timeline, and activities of the day! So for me this means still going to the gym in the morning, and waking up early to read and have my coffee.

Create a Work Environment- In the past when I would work from home I would simply take my computer to the couch and sit there all day. When you are working from home for weeks, this however is not a good approach. I did of course have the luxury of being able to take my monitors home from work to help me create the ideal work station, but even if you don’t you need to find a way to make a desk for yourself. This allows your brain to differentiate the space, as well as feel more comfortable through the day. You may think sitting on the couch all day is great during a weekend, but try doing it day in and day out for weeks. Your body will be craving change.

How I Practice Self Care

The practice of self care has really taken off lately, and it’s no secret that I’m a big believer in it! I think it’s really important to put a focus on yourself regularly. We live in a society that almost praises those who wear themselves out. It’s almost like a competition of misery sometimes.

“I worked from 7am-9pm everyday this week, AND had to work on Saturday”. Sound familiar? We shouldn’t be bragging about that! We should be bragging about the moments spent living our lives, for ourselves!

I know I have talked about some of the things I do for myself, but I feel now more than ever we need to focus on ourselves. So I thought I would talk about some of my favorite activities for self care, and how often I do them!

Social Media Break

Now more than ever I am on social media consistently through the day. As the week goes on I can start to feel my anxiety level increase while on social media. I have always known it to affect me, and I often take month long cleanses from it. However, with trying to build up my blog, I obviously need to be active on my social media platforms. I wanted to make sure I had some balance, and wasn’t causing myself unnecessary stress so I deemed Sundays to be a social media free day! Even just the one day helps a great deal! It’s like a reset on my mental wellness each week.

Saturday Routine

My Saturday routine is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. It’s also becoming more involved each week, and spans from the morning into late afternoon! I start each Saturday by going to the gym. Once class is over I head home for a nice big cup of coffee and some post workout recovery movement. From here I move onto a long hot shower. The kind of shower that all girls love to have, but just don’t have the time for. The extensive routine with the shaving, extra exfoliants, all the best products, and the ability to just hang in there and enjoy the warmth!

Next comes all the after shower care. This is where I tackle derma-planing, that is followed up with toner, brightening serum, under eye moisturizer, my favorite hyaluronic acid moisturizer, and rose water. I will lounge around in my robe, hair in a towel, and enjoy this time to myself.

After I’ve thourhoughly pampered myself, I head out to my favorite coffee shop for a drink, and a delicious avocado toast.

The Gym

Not only is going to the gym good for the body, it’s also good for the brain. It’s a place to release stress and let go of any consuming thoughts. My focus is elsewhere, even if it’s just for an hour. On top of that, there is a social aspect to it. My gym in particular is boot camp style. So the people there all see each other everyday, and often have the opportunity to be partners for the workouts. This causes the gym to have a sense of community, and it’s easy to make friends!

My goal each week, is to make it into at least 4 classes. I always go before work so that it’s out of the way, and I start my day with something good for me!

Reading

A good book is one of my favorite things to do for myself. I LOVE to cuddle up on the couch with my big blanket, a candle and a great book. This is another example of something that will take your mind off things. Books can be a great escape, as well as calming. I love to start my day by getting up early to read. (Of course this is on mornings I don’t go to the gym.) It’s a nice calming way to wake up, instead of frantically running around to get out the door. I also like to end my night this way if I can. Depending on how tired I am, it doesn’t always happen, but I do try!

I have found reading at night sometimes is a necessity though. If I am feeling particularly anxious, I will immediately reach for a book. A half hour of reading will set me down the right path, and make it easier to fall asleep!

Driving to Nowhere

Every now and then I just love a good drive with no destination in mind. Ideally on a nice sunny day, that offers me the option to roll those windows down! I love blasting music, singing along, and enjoying the moment. Something about this activity fills me with such joy!

Nostalgia for Simpler Times

Sometimes I really have a hard time understanding how I became such an adult. I swear it was like I woke up one day and had all these responsibilities, and life wasn’t so happy-go-lucky anymore. Where have all my years gone?!

One of the hardest things to do sometimes is come to terms with the fact that this is life now. That someone who owns things, has a career, has people relying on her, can’t just go back to the days without responsibility. It’s literally not possible. Life will continue to move forward, and you have to do the same to progress.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go backwards! But there are certainly days where I miss driving around with my friends blasting music, and my biggest worry was what my Friday plans were. You don’t realize what you’ve got, while you’ve got it. They always say “youth is wasted on the youth”, and I know I’m making myself sound old, but damn it’s just true! If I really knew how quickly everything changes, I can’t help but feel I would have done things differently.

These feelings are probably brought on by the fact that I am FAST approaching my 30th year of life. And though I actually am excited for this new chapter in my life, I still feel like time has moved too fast, and I would love to have some of my past moments back.

I would love to stay out all night for beat the clock drinks down by the beach, but I know I’ll be recovering from that for days. Yes days! There are nights where I simply stay up too late, and I feel like I’m nursing a hangover. Not to mention, the things I enjoy have changed. I know I’ve mentioned this a FEW times, but I used to absolutely hate being in on a Friday night. Now I want nothing more than to come home from work, get into comfy clothes, and snuggle up on the couch.

Things change man, and you don’t even see it coming! I have become so many things I said I would never be, and it is what it is! So if there is ANY advice I can give to someone young it’s to take advantage of every opportunity, every night out, every experience, because before you know it your life becomes unrecognizable. #SuchACliche

Until next time,

Negative Body Image Recovery

Coming out of National Eating Disorder week I wanted to follow up with some actual tactics for battling a negative body image. In most cases this negativity about the body we live in is what spirals us into an actual eating disorder. As someone who dealt with a negative body image, and an eating disorder that followed, I feel it’s my responsibility to share how I was able to pull myself out of it for anyone who may need. This is an experience that is so real, and so not worth the mental and physical anguish it brings. I want to help anyone who is suffering from disordered eating, or negative body image as best I can!

Below are 5 steps you can start implementing to battle that negativity you are feeling toward your body.

Journaling

I know this is one I ALWAYS mention, but it really works! You definitely have to figure out what works best for you as far as what you choose to focus your writing on for it to help though. I have always gone in the direction of gratitude, and my daily feelings.

For example, I would write about how I felt in the morning just after waking up. This gave me the ability to figure out my emotions before I made it to the mirror to make a judgement on myself. From there I would list out things that are more important in my life than what I weighed, or that extra pudge I thought I had. I would finish out the day with one good thing that happened to me. All of this was to put my whole life into perspective, and see myself for more than just an imperfect body.

Morning Mantra

I’m not gonna lie, this seemed silly to me at first. So if you feel the same, I understand, but hear me out! If you create a mantra that has a positive message, and you repeat it to yourself first thing in the morning, you are starting your whole day off positively. I always found that a negative head space would easily set me off down a path of negative body image. So the mantra would combat that because it would be the first thing I would think in the morning. And the thing about the mantra is, if you are consistent and repeat this to yourself in times of need, over time you will start to believe it and it will honestly change your attitude. So try something like “My body does not determine my worth.”, or “I am beautiful regardless of my weight.”

Avoiding the Mirror

Self explanatory! If you are someone who checks their body when walking past a mirror, or a window, STOP. It will not be easy at first, I still do it more than I’d like to admit. But if you know that seeing your body can be a trigger, don’t look at it. Force yourself to keep looking forward. Change your behavior of “checking” you body first thing in the morning, to doing something else first. Get out of that habit of constantly looking to see what your body looks like.

Unfollow Trigger Accounts

I would like to say that the best thing to do, is to first take a social media break. Whether that’s a day, or a couple weeks, this REALLY helps. However I do understand some people are not going to be willing. So my next suggestion is to unfollow any account that makes you compare your body to theirs. Any accounts that leave you feeling anxious, unmotivated, or in a negative headspace. There is no reason to further your disordered eating mentality by visiting a platform that is meant to be fun! Simply unfollow!

Positive Self Talk

This is a big one! The things you tell yourself all day are going to play a huge factor in what you believe. If you are constantly telling yourself you aren’t good enough because of your weight, or how your body looks, you are going to believe it. However if you start talking to yourself in a forgiving manner, and say positive things about yourself, you will believe that instead! It’s going to take practice and time, but if you are consistent this is one of the biggest tools you have at combating your negative body image.

Examples of this include forgiving yourself when you’ve eaten a little too much dessert. Finding and reminding yourself of things about yourself you do like. Telling yourself how beautiful you look each day. Anything that’s going to life you up, versus bring you mental state down.

If you are consistent, and use these tactics in conjunction with each other, you will learn not to associate your self worth with your weight. These things will help put this fear you have into perspective, and make you feel stronger in who you are outside of the number on a scale. It will take time. I have a journal with a page for each day that spans an entire year. It takes WORK. You will have days where you won’t want to, or these things won’t make you feel better. Stick with it. It’s well worth the effort, and the time!

Until next time,

Weekend Recap: Exceeds Expectations

So this is going to be more of a recap of my week, than a weekend recap. I just feel this needed a follow up!

Remember weeks ago when I made a whole post on how I’m an exceeds expectations kind of girl, and that it’s okay to not want to go above and beyond at your job? Well a funny thing happened to me this week. I had my end of year review, and exceeded expectations, in multiple areas!

Is it a surprise to you? Because it was truly a surprise to me. But that’s the funny thing about life. Sometime you just don’t see the things the way other people do. Maybe that’s why my company handles these reviews the way that they do! Either way, this was a surprising turn of events that renewed some of my energy towards my job.

I’ll give a little insight into my review for those who may be curious! I rated myself across the board as “meets expectations”. This meant that all my objectives for the year were “met”, and all of are core competencies were met in my eyes. In the last year I couldn’t really pinpoint a moment, or period of time that I went above in beyond in my position. And if we are being really honest I sometimes feel like I take a lot of liberties when it comes to a day at work.

My manager had a different view of the year. To her the work I had done on my event series was above and beyond. That the restructuring of the agenda, and more efficient ways of reporting were all signs of someone going the extra mile. She also had me exceeding expectations in customer commitment, and being transparent. My most favorite area of exceeding was in adapting. To me, every time I had to come to her this year with an issue an event faced was a ding in the “things are going wrong under Dana’s watch” column. To her, the way I handled things by approaching with options to find an immediate fix was exceeding because she never actually had to step in and help.

My take away from this review, and whole year is that maybe I am just too hard on myself. Or that I see things I’ve done as just part of the job versus “extra”. It’s amazing how a different perspective can change your view on something. I walked away from this review thinking “I can do this! I do a great job at work, and I have made a lot of improvements to the events I run”. I was too busy focusing on the things that happened that maybe were less than ideal!

I want to be clear that I still feel my original post about not loving your job, or identifying yourself with your career is still completely valid. I still stand behind it, and feel that way. I just found it so interesting to see how that’s not how I actually come across. Leaves me really questioning what I can accomplish if I put in the effort that I seem to think is necessary.

Watch out, I’ve got plans to get promoted come mid year! :p

Until next time,

National Eating Disorder Week: Binge Eating

Binge Eating Disorder is 3 times more likely than anorexia and bulimia combined. An estimated 2.8 million people have BED. Most commonly women in their early 20’s, and men during midlife. Binge Eating Disorder is the most common eating disorder, however only recently was it acknowledged as one.

Since starting this blog, I have made it a goal for myself to always be honest, and open even if it can be a very personal topic. I want anyone who reads my blog to know that the crazy things they think, issues they experience, or emotions they feel happen to others as well. That everyone has their own struggles, and no one is immune. I want anyone who reads my blog to find something they can relate to.

Which leads me here, to one of the most personal experiences I could share. My experience with an eating disorder, specifically Binge Eating Disorder.

If you’ve never heard of Binge Eating Disorder (BED), my best explanation would be when someone eats a very large amount of food in one sitting. This usually leads to a huge amount of discomfort, as well as guilt. A binge episode is usually followed by restricting to “make up” for the large amount of food consumed.

At first I didn’t realize I was doing anything wrong. I had simply started a diet after graduating college. I felt it was time to get it together and eat a nutritious diet. Which I did very well for a long time, but I eventually started to become obsessed. I would watch EVERYTHING that I would eat, making sure there was no seasoning on my food, eating only the “cleanest” foods, and avoiding going out to eat. I was following a strict gym routine, and I would do body checks any chance I had. My journey to health had essentially become unhealthy.

The binging started small, which would be comparable to maybe eating a little too much at a meal. But eventually I was eating full jars of peanut butter in one sitting. The best memory I have to really make it clear just how much food I could consume in a short period of time, is the night I ate a full pint of ice cream, then proceeded to go out with my friends. So I followed up my pint of ice cream with appetizers, half a pizza, and multiple cannolis.

Let’s really think about it. How would you feel after just the entire pint of ice cream? Pretty full right? Now imagine eating a three course meal directly after a pint of ice cream. It made me feel like I was going to literally explode. The amount of pain and discomfort I felt was unexplainable. But time and time again I would put myself through this.

The main point I want to get across was that these moments weren’t really conscious. I often felt like it was an out of body experience. Realistically I knew what I was doing, and I knew the pain it was going to cause me but I COULD NOT control myself. And the worst part was that this was a cycle. I would wake up the next day, vow to eat better, ultimately restrict myself and barely eat, and then lose control all over again. It was a cycle I couldn’t break for more than 2 weeks at a time.

I never would allow myself to purge after I would finish a binge. I always felt that if I forced up what I had just eaten, then I definitely had an eating disorder. I needed to see one of the signs that we so often hear about in association with an eating disorder. Well I ate, a lot, so that seemed fine. And I never forced myself to throw up. So yeah… I must be fine! But, I wasn’t. And it wasn’t until I stumbled upon the term binge eating one day that I realized this isn’t “fine.”

From there everything improved. Over time of course! But I found myself a therapist who specialized in this kind of behavior. We worked together for almost two years before we both agreed I had really removed myself from this behavior. We tried many things including journaling, gratitude practice, mantras, and self awareness tactics. I was determined to kick this behavior, and I feel the combination of everything and my determination really worked well together.

It wasn’t easy, and I still struggle in some ways. Not with the binging, but with my opinion of my body. This is something I am always working to make sure I keep in check. But I can say that I found the help I needed and never looked back.


The last thing I want to note is that these things can be hard to pick out. Those two photos are 4 years apart. The one on the left while I was in the thick of my BED, and the one on the right is me now. Not much difference, and there’s nothing about my body physically that would raise concern to anyone. These things affect SO many people. Look for different signs. Do your research and be supportive of those who need you.

Until next time,


*All stats cited in the post are from healthline.com

Weekend Recap: Jersey Girl Vibes

It seems my weekends have two repeatable themes. Do nothing but sit on the couch all day and night, or find myself at a concert. This weekend I managed to do both pretty flawlessly.

Saturday morning was ME time. Particularly in the self care fashion. I did my extensive facial care routine, lounged around in my robe, and listened to music with my coffee. This has become a weekend routine, and I absolutely feel everyone should put a version of this into practice!

I then proceeded to meet a friend for coffee and some blogging advice. When she’s up and running, I will absolutely share her info! 🙂

My night however was the highlight. Honestly, I was really debating if I actually wanted to go out. Scott’s aunt and cousin have nothing but rave reviews for this band, but part of me really just wanted to sit in, maybe watch some fights, and cuddle up with Scott. BUT I talked myself into going because I love new music, and we know I’m working on saying yes to things I once loved!

The show was at the Stone Pony in Asbury Park. I like to think everyone knows about the Stone Pony, but it may just be a Jersey thing. (Though I know my rock n roll fans out there know it well!) But anyway, if you don’t know, it’s a legendary venue on the Jersey Shore home to the artists like Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi. It’s located right on the boardwalk in Asbury Park, and it’s been there since 1973. I have seen countless bands perform here, and I have even taken the stage a few times!

So as I mentioned earlier I met up with Scott’s aunt and cousin, who when attending any concert prefer to be right at the front of the action. This is not quite my style, but I worked my way up to meet them. They introduced me to all their friends who very quickly welcomed me into the gang! The music was great, we danced all night, and had a ton of laughs. I walked away from this night with a new artist to listen to, and really happy I decided to go out!

Which leads me to Sunday! At this point in my life, staying out past 12am requires recovery the next day, drinks or no drinks. So I woke up early with Scott like I normally do, but proceeded to go right back to sleep until about 11:30 once he left. From there it was simply a move from the bed to the couch kind of day. I watched my favorite show, and we finished off the day with some Chinese food on the couch together.

I love days like this! I love the coziness of the couch, my big blankets and being alone able to just exist. I always feel like this is the best way to prepare for the week ahead.

So what were your weekend plans? Anything new and exciting, or are you a couch potato like me?

Until next time,

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